Don’t worry, 31 days into unemployment, my status is still unchanged.
In those 31 days, there have been countless ups and downs. Moments of excitement, high concentration, positivity, hope. Moments of disappointment, insecurity, powerlessness, anxiety. Moments of acceptance and denial.
Job opportunities have been coming and going, passing me by or engaging me but being cancelled at the last minute. I’ve come to realize that a lot of the job hunt “science” has to do with luck. But I am not ready to curse my luck just yet.
I have sent out more job applications than I can remember, for all sorts of jobs that were remotely related to any of my previous positions. But I do have a very particular skillset that is valuable for certain jobs but not as much for general positions found in any company. All these applications that I’ve sent out and never heard back about, all those rejection emails stating I wasn’t the right fit for the job; they just haven’t been the right fit for me.
I have come a long way from those early days of frantic applying though. I am no longer targeting anything that might work. I have started pondering what it was I really wanted to do, as opposed to what I feel I need to do. I have been trying to educate myself further, to see what options there might be other than the obvious ones. I am not quite done figuring out what comes next yet, but I do feel things are becoming clearer.
One think I have been doing consistently from day 1 is blogging if you will, though it is more like journaling, as you know. A diary that I made public for two reasons:
- To keep myself writing, every day, keeping my emotions more or less in check and just getting into the habit of putting my thoughts on (digital) paper and publishing them.
- To keep track of the changes in thinking I’m going through, and of learnings that I take as I make them; and to make those learnings available to anybody who might be in a similar situation as me, anyone who might be struggling, anyone who needs to see that life is not easy for any of us.
Though this blog has not made millions of followers in the first 31 days of its existence, this was never really the goal. If there is one person who, having read this diary, felt like they were no longer alone, then this blog reached its ultimate success.
If you’ve read this, you know I was planning to go do some travelling, and that I wasn’t going to give up life just because I got fired.
Well, time has come to – literally – embark on a journey out of the struggles of my everyday life. What I am hoping for is to really relax and get some distance, including literal distance, gather some new strength and maybe open up to some new ideas.
Though my – figurative – journey back into employment is not finished yet, starting tomorrow, I am suspending my rigorous schedule of posting every day, at least for the time being. That does not mean that the blog is over, so make sure to check back every once in a while. I’ll be happy if you do.
Thank you for being with me this month.